I think about this all the time. Feel up against the wall with my own expectations of how to govern this household and how to parent this innocent child of mine. Constantly asking the questions “is this enough? Should I do more? Am I doing a good enough job?” My biggest battle seems to be with the outside. Are we going outside enough? Experiencing nature enough? I’m not in the countryside so I feel like it always has to be a conscious effort, not to just go in the yard. My yard isn’t good enough.
I like reading articles that look directly at the pressure on mother’s. How we are expected in society to be the best at multitasking all of the time. It’s not good enough to be the master of your domestic domain, you’re expected to have a domain name with a side business too. To be writing your blog, maintaining the stock of your online store and wheeling-and-dealing in the late night hours. It’s not enough to take care of an entire household of duties, finances, and to a raise a child, and be a good wife. These tasks alone take an infinite amount of work and dedication.
I want it to be enough. I want to just enjoy these special times and relish this beautiful family, and cherish the little things without societal pressures on my back. I want to get so wrapped up in playing in the covers and the curtains that I forgot that aggravating voice inside that says: “you didn’t go outside enough today, you didn’t eat healthy enough and you watched too much TV.”
I’m all for success and achievements but often times realize that my successes and achievements have to be my own day-to-day glories. No one is going to brag about them to others, no one is going to strive to achieve them just like me…but they are perfect and my own. I get to keep them and store them in my memory bank, and remember the little things all my life – that made up who I am and who my family is forever.
I realized the other day at a play-date that I was so hard on myself as a mother. My friend brought out a bowl of Easter candy and put it on my child’s personal place mat to eat at her leisure. My eyes about popped out of my head. A child gets to choose how much and when, say what? Perplexing yet refreshing and she didn’t eat all that much in the end. But I’m sure she relished making the decision herself. Right?
Later-on we were discussing programs the children watch and I asked how long she watches the TV per day with her child. And her answer with a shrug of the shoulders was casual and uncalculated and FREE. Just unrestricted and she would just know when enough was enough. I was awe-struck and wishing I could be the same. How could I unravel all of these self-induced restrictions and where were they coming from? I wanted answers. I tried to figure out how these ideas originated, and I still am seeking answers.
I want to make a conscious effort to rewrite the script and unravel the threads that have made up my mothering guidelines. Perhaps they are too strict or not? It’s time to take a look at them and release these pressures that don’t need to be there. I would like to inspire you to do this for yourself. Take a deeper look and stop chastising yourself for simple mothering decisions that mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. Make this lifestyle enough, make it easier, be FREE!